Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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