Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
