Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
