Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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