I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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