New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize