so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
