I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
