I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm just crazy horny about you
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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