I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Never joke about your clitoris.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
