apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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