Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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