It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
