FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize