Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Enjoy the penises
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize