I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
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