At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
