i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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