And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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