I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
