Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
This gyro tastes like lonliness
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
