Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I AM VODKA MAN
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
