I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
