is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
