Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
