It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
