Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
