I think my vagina is haunted
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You were trust falling into bushes
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
