yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize