We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.