Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
