dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
two words...techno handjob
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
