just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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