No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
