Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
