Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
