I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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