Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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