last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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