I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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