Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
