Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize