I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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