Your dad touched me again.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize