whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
