I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize