Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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