All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
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It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
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I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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