are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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