I think my vagina is haunted
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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