How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize