Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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