update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
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But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
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That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face