How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My pussy is not your playground.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
