So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
