...so i touched it.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
