you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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