all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
