I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
