you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
