At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
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Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
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He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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