"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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