Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I puked off the balcony.
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
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Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
My thoughts exactly.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
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I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.