this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list